After the age of nine, I grew up with a lot of insecurities. Those of you who are regular readers know my history and likely understand the reasons for those insecurities and lack of self-esteem. Besides the “secretive” things I endured in my own home I also endured many hurtful words from other children. I was a “chunky” kid and I had a big gap between my front teeth and big black bushy eyebrows which looked like two oversized caterpillars sitting on my face. (Groucho Marx eye-brows) Rarely did some kid miss the opportunity call me fatty or some other equally hurtful insult. I soon learned to hate myself and most everything about myself. I desperately wanted people to like me, and at some point I realized I could make people laugh with my clowning around or with a good joke. I covered up my hurt with humor.
I was well into my late 30’s, early 40’s before I began gaining back my self-esteem and leaving behind the insecurities that had haunted me for most of my life. I attribute all of this to the seeds of truth which were planted in me, took hold and grew into a strong faith and to my growing in grace and knowledge and also, to Larry, my second husband, who taught me what true love is all about.
I still suffer occasional bouts of insecurity; however they are much less frequent. I have so many wonderful people in my life who I know love me “just the way I am”, who accept me with my imperfections.
Love truly does cover a multitude of sins!
I will never forget that hurting, sad little girl, because of her I am drawn to people who are hurting and struggling and I try my best to build them up and let them know they are loved.
We all long to be loved; don’t miss an opportunity to share your love with others.
God says to every person deformed by sin, “I wish you were my son” or “I wish you were my daughter.”
Without love, we are nothing!
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Cor 13:1-13