I'm Going to Spread Some Cheer


We survived the Blizzard of 2009 (our first one this year) and hopefully the last. We also survived Christmas. There are still several inches of snow on the ground and we may get more Tuesday and Thursday. We will probably try to venture out tomorrow to get some milk and other odds and ends.

I’m sitting here preparing to pay a couple of bills that will be due soon. I opened the cable bill and noticed there is a $7.00 increase on our basic cable. Ouch! Our once a year property taxes will be due by mid-January. We get one bill for property taxes and one for personal property. That one really irks me; I mean really, we paid taxes on our personal property when we purchased it, why do we have to pay taxes on it again, year after year after year? I think that must be unconstitutional. Our car insurance is due in January too, for the car and the truck. We pay each one every six months, one is up eighty-nine cents and the other is up two-dollars and seventy cents, and yes I will be inquiring about the increase. I just get a little tired of getting gouged over and over and everyone does it. We the consumers constantly have to pay a little more for everything.

I think I will send my Water Company, Phone, Cable, Gas and Electric Company, Auto and Home insurance etc., a bill. It will read something like this:

Dear Providers:

You are receiving this notice to inform you that I am deducting five-dollars per month each and every month from the “amount owed” until further notice.

For the past thirty years I have been a loyal customer, I have always paid my bills on time. You have never had to send me a late notice or a disconnect notice. I have paid your yearly increases year after year never calling you once to complain.

And to my insurance agent: I have not filed claims because I have not been involved in accidents. You supposedly give me great discounts because of my great driving record, accident free all these years, no claims on the home except the one time many years ago when our house was robbed twice in the same month. You supposedly give us discounts for being non-smokers and non-drinkers, multicar and accident free and multiple line reductions. This leaves me greatly confused as my bills are always higher than the previous ones. With all of the discounts you are giving me it seems like you should be sending me a check instead of a bill.

I have decided to reward myself for all of the money I have saved you in postage, staff and etc. I don’t want to pay for your “free calendars, pens, note pads or the Christmas card” you may send me each year. I understand we can’t part ways; you have services I rely on, and in order to be a good citizen and keep the laws of the state, I must obtain some of your services, but hey, I think it’s time for things to be evened out a little and I’m sure you will agree as I  once again remind you that I’m really a great customer. I doubt you will even miss the $5.00 deduction each month. And just to make you feel a bit better and to show our appreciation, I’m sending you a picture of me and my husband along with a calendar to remind you each day and each month of what really great customers we are.

Oh, and lest I forget Dear Providers-Happy New Year!

Best regards,
Your Loyal Customer

I think I feel a tad better now, care to join me? 🙂 

6 comments for “I'm Going to Spread Some Cheer

  1. jel
    January 1, 2010 at 7:33 am

    happy new year!

  2. December 31, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    Happy New Year Janice! Thanks for everything you do.

  3. Meowmix
    December 30, 2009 at 9:25 am

    Years ago I worked with a guy who did not put postage stamps on the bills he mailed. I was agog with interest. He said the post office would deliver them and the provider, etc. would pay the postage on it to get the payment! I tried it, and it came back for no postage. He never got any of them back! Go figure.

  4. December 29, 2009 at 9:10 pm

    If that works for you, I may try it here!

  5. jel
    December 28, 2009 at 7:25 pm

    we got snow for Christmas, about a inch or so! so i’m good bring on spring 🙂

  6. jel
    December 28, 2009 at 7:23 pm

    glad ya feel a tad better! 😉

Comments are closed.