For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Eph 5:23-24
Married couples often have things come along which they have different opinions of, but what about when it goes beyond opinion and you want a scriptural answer?
All of you who know me know that I adore my husband and I honor his God given position as stated in the above verse. Yet I struggle with one thing which we have had many discussions about in our almost 30 years of marriage. In this one area we are opposites, so I would love to have some honest feedback from men and women with a scriptural point of view on what I’m going to share with you today. And obviously, I’m not going behind his back since I’m putting it out here in black and white. 🙂
Larry has always been excellent with planning and sticking to a budget and he has taught me well the importance of maintaining a budget. This is where we differ though. I guess I am unrealistic when it comes to helping others financially. I tend to want to “give the store away”; while he will ponder and then decide on an amount, usually the amount is on a much smaller scale than I had in mind. Let me be perfectly clear, he doesn’t wrestle with giving and he doesn’t mind helping people out. We just look at it in different numbers. He admits that he is frugal and that is something he has struggled with, although he has made big changes in a positive way. (I too have made great progress in “tightening the belt”)
Change is hard no matter what side of the fence you are on. It would be very difficult for me to be frugal the same way he is and equally difficult for him to be as free as I am willing to be.
Here is my struggle. If I sincerely feel God has laid something on my heart to help someone financially and Larry is not in agreement, what do I do with this? Sometimes I feel like I am disobeying God to submit to my husband. If I strongly feel a responsibility to help someone out and he doesn’t….what do I do??? I know I am to obey God above any and everyone, yet I don’t think I should go behind Larry’s back either. I want to be the wife God expects me to be.
I have given this to God, he knows my heart and he knows Larry’s heart. During some of our discussions over this I have shared that I trust God and that if we run short on money I completely believe that God will provide for us. He believes this too, but his makeup is to provide for his family, and I understand that too. God has laid the responsibility on a mans heart to provide for his family.
It’s not always easy to share things of a personal nature. If it’s just about me, you know well my life is an open book. I am much more cautious when it involves others. Please let me stress again, I am not putting my husband down at all and pray that it will not be interpreted as so.
I would really appreciate feedback on this delicate situation and perhaps I can be encouraged with a different view than the one I have.