True Confessions

What are some deliberate things you did that you knew you weren’t supposed to do, regardless of your age?

 I can think of things I did and I’m not sure I can say why I did all of them. Each circumstance was different. I smoked my first cigarette when I was 12 and I thought it was horrible, I also thought I might choke to death. I drank my first beer (actually, it was Malt Liquor) at 13. I only drank a half a can, and by the time it was empty I don’t remember anything else until the next morning.  I had spent the night with a girlfriend and her boyfriend furnished the beer. It was horrible!

I stole a bra when I was 10 or 11. After much begging, my mom still didn’t think I needed one, kids at school were teasing me though and I was very insecure and embarrassed. I felt so desperate, so scared and so ashamed.

This next one, (I was 11 or 12 and my mom had dropped me off at the skating rink), is the worst and most embarrassing in my mind and I promise you; I did not want to do this. I was at the skating rink and had been skating perhaps 20 minutes. Suddenly I had a very upset stomach. The bathroom was at the very end of the rink and I knew there was positively no way I could make it all the way there, in time… with skates on. I was right next to the desk where I had paid. I had already taken my skates off when I asked the lady if I could walk to the restroom with my socks on. She said “no”. I told her I really needed to go and couldn’t wait; again she refused to let me go. I knew I couldn’t go outside; it was just a big parking lot, besides it was still a little light outside. By this time I’m afraid I’m going to have an awful accident. I could feel the fear welling up inside of me and the golf ball size lump in my throat, I just knew I was going to cry at any moment and my stomach was cramping something horrible. In my desperation I spotted the old pay phone booth, it was all wood, no glass, and no way to see through. Well I wasn’t Super Man, but I slipped into that booth and did the unspeakable; the yellow pages from the phone booth became my “Charmin”. I was scared to death to walk out of that phone booth. I wanted to die from embarrassment and shame, but I HAD to go and absolutely could not wait another second. I just knew when I walked out of that booth there would be all kinds of people ready to pounce on me, perhaps even the police. I slipped quietly to the wooden bench, put my shoes on and got out of there as fast as I could. Before I left though, I looked over at the booth and froze in my tracks…someone had put a big “OUT OF ORDER” sign on the booth and I could see a couple of grownups whispering and looking around. By the time I left it was all the way dark, I walked home in the dark, I’m not sure how far it was, but it was on a very busy street in an industrial area. I expect it was just under 2 miles. My mom wasn’t home and I never told her what happened. I got in trouble for leaving and walking home alone. I lied and told her I felt sick and had to come home. Needless to say I never asked to go skating again and never returned to that skating rink.  That one still bothers me to this day!

I took my mom’s car for a “joy ride” when I was 13. She had a new 55 Chevy; it was pink and grey with a continental kit. I had never driven before. I had ‘steered’ before, and I had always watched my mom drive. I studied how she handled the steering wheel, how she used the brake and pushed her foot down on the accelerator. I was blessed with a good eye on distance and lining things up. (I used to be a bit of a pool shark, played in a few tournaments and placed a few bets with unsuspecting and rather overconfident guys. It was so much fun to beat them). Sorry, I strayed…I’ll save that for another time, and (please remember, all this is the “OLD” me. Thank God, I repented and I’m forgiven). We lived on a very busy S.E. 15th Street in Oklahoma City at the time. I drove around to the GEX, (I think that’s what it was called). Then to the Skyline Café and then I pulled in the closed gas station pretending to get gas. Yeah…I know now….Dumb and Lame!! At the time I thought I was too cool. I didn’t wreck the car, although I remember going much to fast on the curve to the GEX and that really scared me. I finally told mom about that incident, many, many years later. Let’s just say I was too old to get in trouble for that misdeed by the time I told her. LOL

2 Cor 7:10-11 Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.