Larry is taking me and mom out for our Mother’s Day Dinner today. Mom and I don’t like crowded restaurants, so we opted for today.  Before lunch the three of us are going shopping to try and find a new loveseat for my mom. So I’m taking the day off today. Okay…you can at least pretend to be disappointed.

You are aware by now that I love humor, so I’m sharing a couple that tickled my funny bone and I hope they put a smile on your face too.

Tick Warning

I dislike it when people forward bogus warnings, and I have even done it myself a couple times unintentionally…but this one is real, and it’s important. So please, send this warning to everyone on your e-mail list

This is the time of year to think of ticks once again. If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warm weather and they ask you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up…

DO NOT DO IT!!  THIS IS A SCAM!! They only want to see you naked…I wish I’d gotten this yesterday…I feel SO stupid.

Red Skelton’s Recipe for a Perfect Marriage

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

 We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

 I take my wife everywhere…..but she keeps finding her way back.

 I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

 We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

 She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said “There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!” So I bought her an electric chair.

 My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me “In the lake.”

 She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

 She ran after the garbage truck, yelling “Am I too late for the garbage?” The driver said “No, jump in!”

 I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

 I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.

 The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked “What’s on the TV?” I said “Dust!”