Sadness of Heart

I became aware of this situation the end of last week. The person so heavy on my heart lives hundreds of miles away, does not use the Internet and has no knowledge of my blog. She has lived under the control of an abusive partner for many years. She is afflicted with some very serious auto-immune diseases and lives in semi-isolation. She has not been close to God since childhood, and due to a very controlling partner has very few friends.  I plead for your prayers on her behalf. I pray she will find the courage to remove herself from the situation she is in.  I pray too that she will find God, that she can begin to live a life surrounded by Christians and that the love I know is in her can be cultivated for God’s glory. I stand ready to help, as do others…pray she will accept.

Her world has become darkness…

How can this be happening?? Those are the soundless words shattering her mind, fists clenched as she pounds her pillow, crying, and suffering. Loneliness and sadness consume her; her spirit is crushed. She is barley able to function; her anguish is relentless. There is no end to her despair.

Those she lives with and loves have become her enemies; they have turned their backs on her. They scorn her and refuse to even acknowledge her presence. She retreats to her room, confused, hurt and angry. Tears fall from her eyes as waters that have breached a dam.

Have you ever felt this way? I have…Anguish of that magnitude is incapacitating. It robs you of the ability to think rationally. If you make a choice in that state of mind…it’s usually not a good one. The gloom of such a situation deceives you into longing for death.

Someone I love dearly is experiencing this very thing. She isn’t aware that I know and doesn’t want me to know. I have given my word, I can not call her. My heart aches for her, my own tears spill from my eyes, I long to comfort her.

You may imagine her offense to be colossal to receive such harsh treatment, it isn’t. A few months ago she was hospitalized with pneumonia and while sedated she was cajoled into promising she would quit smoking. Now, two months later she has broken that promise and for that reason she is being ostracized.

Anyone who has ever faced any kind of addiction understands that the first step in quitting is…YOU must be the one wanting to quit. However mixed up the thinking may be, it’s the only thing in her life in which she felt she had some kind of control. Everyday, and for many years she has endured consequences of making the wrong choices early in her life. She has been the victim of unspeakable abuse, yet she has persevered and kept on going.

Ps 38:9-12 All my longings lie open before you, O Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you. My heart pounds, my strength fails me; even the light has gone from my eyes. My friends and companions avoid me because of my wounds; my neighbors stay far away. Those who seek my life set their traps, those who would harm me talk of my ruin; all day long they plot deception.