I enjoy many different kinds of music, especially music from the 60′s through the 80′s. Song lyrics are almost always a reflection of someone’s life experiences. Even today I can hear a certain song and it takes me back to a moment in time, sometimes happy memories, other times not.

These are some of the songs that reflect various stages of my life.

Teenager in Love, Only The Lonely, Breaking Up Is Hard To Do.  I’ve had days of California Dreaming and A Hard Day’s Night. During my times of rebellion, using drugs and alcohol, the following song titles would have described me… Eight Miles High, Strawberry Fields Forever, Blowin’ In The Wind, Tracks of My Tears and Dazed And Confused. Fools Rush In, Pistol Packin’ Mama, Straighten Up And Fly Right, Walking The Floor Over You, I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry,, Blues Stay Away From Me.

By my choice to sin; I survived many wasted years and thankfully I grew weary of that way of life. I was full of bitterness and anger. As I look back, I thank God that he spared me, allowing me time to repent. Rom 4:7-8 Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him.” I am amazed that my sins are forgiven, that the Lord will never count them against me. Why?? Because on a scale of one to ten, when it came to sinning I was a ten.

Rom 6:-23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.  We all know there is pleasure in sin; otherwise we wouldn’t find it so enticing. Now, I choose to focus on the gift of God .When I look back it isn’t because of missing my past. It’s because I’m thankful for my life now, my life as a Christian. I try each day to reflect the love of Christ in all that I do.

1 John 2:5-6 But if anyone obeys his word, God’s love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did. The last part of that sentence is powerful. If we claim to live in him we must walk as he did.

How many times have you heard someone say “and you call yourself a Christian?” That must have been someone “Talking the talk” and not “Walking the walk”. Granted, the accuser of such statements likely needs to take a look in the mirror as well. We must be careful though to let our lives reflect Christ, or our influence will not draw others to him.

I sing new songs now and one of my favorites is:

Servant Song

Lord, make me a servant Lord, make me like You: For You are a servant, make me one, too.  Lord, make me a servant, do what You must do to make me a servant; make me like You.

Larry and I are famous for getting lost. We have not traveled much in the past 28 years. Things used to get a bit tense when we would miss an exit or make a wrong turn and end up driving miles out of our way. We laugh about those times now and we usually allow ourselves a little extra time…just in case. We do not have GPS in our car, nor have we bothered to invest in the hand-held versions. Perhaps those things will come in time. I now use MapQuest  if we are going to a new place, and have found it to be accurate most of the time.

We both retired in 2004. I retired in June, six months before Larry, and he retired in December. Our first trip after retirement came five months later.

We were living in CA and flew to Oklahoma in May of 2005 for a family reunion. (My side of the family). I was born in Shawnee and my mom and I moved to CA around 1960. Larry was born and raised in CA.

We were in Oklahoma about 2 weeks and “just for fun” we started looking at Real Estate. We were shocked at how much more affordable property was in Oklahoma as opposed to CA. We had never even considered leaving California, although we were pretty fed up with it. Our house was paid for and we imagined we would spend our remaining years right where we were. We started discussing the pros and cons of such a major move and we began praying and searching our hearts. We both decided a change would be good and we made up our minds to leave it in God’s hands.  

The Real Estate market was really booming during that time and it was definitely a seller’s market. Once we realized we could get three times more for our house than what we paid for it we started exploring the possibility of really leaving CA. I spent the next month looking at Oklahoma property on the Internet, (Larry doesn’t use computers and has no desire to). After finding several properties we were interested in, I began interviewing a few Realtors in Oklahoma, first online, and then Larry and I interviewed them by phone. We finally settled on which one we would use. We made arrangements with the Realtor when we would be back in Oklahoma and he began work on his end.

We decided to fly, so we purchased one-way tickets back to Oklahoma, as we didn’t want to be under time constraints while looking for our dream home. We had made a list of what features we would like for our house and how many acres etc. Our Realtor did a great job, he made appointments and mapped out the places we wanted to see. We had selected places that spanned several counties and towns. We spent three days looking and the last place we looked at the end of the third day was the ‘one’. We knew it the minute we were driving up to it. It had everything we wanted except a pond. We could barely suppress our excitement.

Our Realtor drew up the necessary papers and we made an offer that evening. We found out the next morning our offer was accepted. We made our deposit, purchased tickets back to CA, put our house on the market and it sold exactly one month after it was listed. Yes….we did things a bit backwards by purchasing the house in Oklahoma before putting our CA house on the market. Remember though, we had put this entire project in God’s hands. We truly believed if this move was in any of his plans for us it would come about, and if not, we would stay in CA.

One of the main things we wanted on the property was a lot of trees. We both love trees. We live in the country, yet we are only three miles from town. We are on 2-1/2 acres with a hill in the back covered with beautiful rocks and trees. It’s like living in a gorgeous park. We see God’s handiwork all around us and the wildlife is amazing. We have deer that visit, armadillos, possum, (not my favorite) raccoons, squirrels and all kinds of beautiful birds. We also have been told that fox and coyotes are here too. We have not seen any ourselves.

We have absolutely no regrets about our move. God continues to bless us. The church here is an answer to our prayers. We have made many new friends. It’s a great life!!

Jer 29:11-12 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Isa 58:11 The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.

• 1. If you were stranded on a desert island, what three things would you want to have with you?
• 2. Is there really any such thing as unconditional love?
• 3. Who decided that our cholesterol is bad…and when it’s bad, why can’t we just scold it and make it better?
• 4. Do all animals instinctively know how to swim, and why don’t humans?
• 5. Does everyone dream in color?
• 6. Why do we still use daylight savings time?
• 7. If one picture is worth a thousand words, then what is a thousand words worth?
• 8. If you could choose how you die, what would be your choice?
• 9. What is your favorite room in the house and why?
• 10. If you could change your age, what age would you choose to be right now?
• 11. What one thing or what person mentioned in the bible do you want to ask God about?
• 12. If you could be another person for one day, who would it be?
• 13. What would you do if you could be invisible for a day?
• 14. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change?
• 15. What are five things considered bad manners that irritate you?
• 16. Who taught you to use a computer?
• 17. What is the best thing about the town you live in?
• 18. What are some things that make you angry?
• 19. Do you like your name?
• 20. Do you change the batteries in your smoke/fire detector as often as recommended?

As you have probably guessed, I am very distracted today and can’t seem to stay focused. Feel free to answer any of the questions, add your own, ignore them or simply hit that wonderful DELETE button.

I became aware of this situation the end of last week. The person so heavy on my heart lives hundreds of miles away, does not use the Internet and has no knowledge of my blog. She has lived under the control of an abusive partner for many years. She is afflicted with some very serious auto-immune diseases and lives in semi-isolation. She has not been close to God since childhood, and due to a very controlling partner has very few friends.  I plead for your prayers on her behalf. I pray she will find the courage to remove herself from the situation she is in.  I pray too that she will find God, that she can begin to live a life surrounded by Christians and that the love I know is in her can be cultivated for God’s glory. I stand ready to help, as do others…pray she will accept.

Her world has become darkness…

How can this be happening?? Those are the soundless words shattering her mind, fists clenched as she pounds her pillow, crying, and suffering. Loneliness and sadness consume her; her spirit is crushed. She is barley able to function; her anguish is relentless. There is no end to her despair.

Those she lives with and loves have become her enemies; they have turned their backs on her. They scorn her and refuse to even acknowledge her presence. She retreats to her room, confused, hurt and angry. Tears fall from her eyes as waters that have breached a dam.

Have you ever felt this way? I have…Anguish of that magnitude is incapacitating. It robs you of the ability to think rationally. If you make a choice in that state of mind…it’s usually not a good one. The gloom of such a situation deceives you into longing for death.

Someone I love dearly is experiencing this very thing. She isn’t aware that I know and doesn’t want me to know. I have given my word, I can not call her. My heart aches for her, my own tears spill from my eyes, I long to comfort her.

You may imagine her offense to be colossal to receive such harsh treatment, it isn’t. A few months ago she was hospitalized with pneumonia and while sedated she was cajoled into promising she would quit smoking. Now, two months later she has broken that promise and for that reason she is being ostracized.

Anyone who has ever faced any kind of addiction understands that the first step in quitting is…YOU must be the one wanting to quit. However mixed up the thinking may be, it’s the only thing in her life in which she felt she had some kind of control. Everyday, and for many years she has endured consequences of making the wrong choices early in her life. She has been the victim of unspeakable abuse, yet she has persevered and kept on going.

Ps 38:9-12 All my longings lie open before you, O Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you. My heart pounds, my strength fails me; even the light has gone from my eyes. My friends and companions avoid me because of my wounds; my neighbors stay far away. Those who seek my life set their traps, those who would harm me talk of my ruin; all day long they plot deception.

I needed some laughter today and found this in my old files, it tickled my funny bone so hope you enjoy it too!

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”

The man says, “All right, all right. I’m dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.”

The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.”

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.”

The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.

But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk.

Have you ever looked at the gas gauge and felt a knot in your stomach when you realized it’s on Empty or even worse, below ‘E‘? I admit it has been many years since I’ve found myself in that situation, yet I still remember the sinking feeling from the times it happened.

These days I get that same feeling when I find my ‘spiritual tank’ approaching Empty. I become most aware of it when I am digging around in the Word. It usually comes about when I’m cross-referencing.

For example, the following scriptures recently caught my attention.

 Col 1:3-5 We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love that you have for all the saints, because of the hope laid up for you in heaven. I asked myself…when was the last time I thanked God like that… expressing my appreciation for what God is doing in another’s life because of their faith and hope? I do pray for and try to encourage others, but read the verse again. Can’t you almost hear the excitement in Paul’s voice-”We always thank God”.

When I read in 2 Peter 1:3-11…I am in awe…and I challenge you to read it and consider the following words again. God’s divine power,  everything, life and godliness, his glory and goodness, very great and precious promises, so that through them, we may participate in the divine nature, and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. Make every effort, add to your faith, goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness, love.

Now read on…For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. That’s powerful!!

And finally… be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I may start out on Empty…but after spending time in the garden my spiritual tank starts to fill. I resolve to press on, working out my salvation with fear and trembling, with stubbed toes, cuts and bruises.

I wrote this post a couple of years ago. Since it is the time of year for ‘critters’ I thought I would share it today.

I have a huge fear of bugs, and God surely knows. I am always thanking him for keeping me out of harms way with the critters. I can also tell you that my morning shower and 2 cups of strong black coffee is plenty good enough to get both my eyes open and my blood pumping sufficiently. This morning was a bit different…I thought I would have to call 911, but I was too busy holding my heart trying to keep it in my chest.

I had been up for a while and was on my second cup of coffee when I walked toward my bedroom to “fluff” my hair a bit. Anyway lo and behold, crawling across my living room floor, or I should say running at a high speed was a ferocious looking centipede. Shining black with orange legs. Did I mention there must have been about a thousand legs? Talk about a walking laxative!!

Well…being the chicken that I am, I ran past the demon on my floor and flew into the bathroom, told my very naked husband (he was in the shower) he had to “come and see this” now! Well he knows by my near hysteria that this is serious business and he jumps out of the shower and follows me into the living room, and I must admit, he was quite impressed with this monster. I handed him one of my flip-flops and left him to kill the villain, but then I remembered my glue boards and asked him if he wanted one… and he did!

I could hardly get one out of the package my hands were shaking so hard, but the instant I did, I handed it to him, (from a safe distance of course) and he managed to coax/force that many-legged critter onto the glue board. By this time Larry has forgotten that he is stark naked and proceeds toward the back door to dispose of the monster in the outside garbage. (My hero)

Being the loving wife, I reminded him of his present state of undress and he quickly passes the glue board off to me, so I bravely (yeah…right) took it to the outside garbage.

Needles to say this incident aged me at about 10 years. I now wish I would have taken a picture.

Life in Oklahoma is never dull.

And what purpose do these serve???

Gen 1:24 And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind.” And it was so.

I remember playing “Hide and Seek” as a child. I liked the seeking part best because when I thought I was perfectly hidden, the seeker, upon finding me would slip up on me and scare me. I would scream, get tagged and then it was my turn to be the seeker. It was a fun and innocent game played with my brothers and friends.

Now, as an adult, I realize I’m still playing the game, only now I play it with God, this time it isn’t so innocent, and that means I’m always going to get tagged. No matter how casually I live my life or how much I choose to categorize my sins; big ones-little ones, God will always find me.  I can not escape his presence no matter how hard I try. I don’t always willfully try to hide; often it is things I choose to ignore, like going a few miles over the speed limit. Everyone does it…See how easy that was to ‘justify’ my choices… and you know, no matter how determinedly I search my bible I can’t find that “white” lie. Yep, I learned as a kid that lies come in colors. How about my jealousy or hatred, envy etc.? When I invite in, that old sinful nature that’s so contrary to the Spirit, I go into hiding.

After I eat the fruit-I try to cover myself.  After Adam and Eve ate the fruit… Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; Gen 3:7

When I hear the Lord… Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Gen 3:8

I do not like my times of hiding; I don’t want to be an enemy of God. You were his enemies, separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions. Col 1:21

I want to fix my eyes on Jesus, so I no longer have to hide. Heb 12:2-3 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.

From my Christian perspective, I no longer care for Hide and Seek.

I am often stirred by my sense of smell, and I have always had a very sensitive ‘sniffer’.  Certain odors stimulate memories past, some repel me and seem to have a direct connection to my gag reflex, yet others alert me to possible danger, like smoke, gas or ammonia.

I love things that smell good and often wish I could bottle them. Saturday, Larry and I took a trip to our nearest farm supply store, approximately 20 miles east of us.  As soon as we walked in, the smell of freshly popped popcorn permeated the air. Immediately my taste buds snapped to attention. Almost everyone stops for a bag and it’s FREE! I didn’t get one, I wanted one but knew I didn’t really need it, so that time, I was able to resist.

Some of my favorite smells are….the way the house smells when all the goodies that go into Thanksgiving dinner are cooking, fresh cut lavender, a baby straight from the bath, bacon, rain, freshly mowed grass, leather, a pot of beans cooking, the list goes on.

Certain odors that repel me are manure, skunks, anything rotting, vinegar, bad breathe, and sulphur, just to name a few.

Odors are able to trigger both pleasant and unpleasant memories.

In the Old Testament, sacrifices/offerings were repeatedly mentioned as a sweet aroma or sweet savour which pleased the Lord. In that sense I imagine that our acts of obedience would be as a pleasing aroma and our acts of disobedience would repel him.

Daily as I struggle to fight the good fight, I pray that I will be that “living sacrifice” holy and pleasing to God. I pray that my actions will go up to him as a sweet aroma.

What’s that I smell?

Child-likeness (like a child, especially in having a sweet, innocent, unspoiled quality.)

Playing in the rain, making mud pies, laying in the grass and finding ‘pictures’ in the clouds. Going to grandma’s house, playing with my doll, blowing bubbles, running through the sprinklers. Playing in the creek and catching frogs. Most of those things can be summed up as child-likeness,  not having a care in the world.

Matt 18:3-4 And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Now, as always, God [discloses] himself to “babes” and hides himself in thick darkness from the wise and the prudent. We must simplify our approach to him. We must strip down to essentials (and they will be found to be blessedly few). We must put away all effort to impress, and come with the guileless candor of childhood. If we do this, without doubt God will quickly respond. A.W. Tozer

Sounds easy enough to “simplify our approach to him”. How do we become as little children? How do we restrain our ambitions and our desires to be the greatest? How do we rein in our pride? Is it fair to say we struggle with wanting to be the strongest, wanting to have the most power, be the most influential?

To become like little children we have to be changed. Change involves child-like traits such as trust and humility. Even the disciples argued over which one of them would be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. They had not yet understood that the kingdom was not an earthly kingdom.

We have to do our best not to want worldly ambition. We must learn to “set our minds on things above, not on earthly things” as mentioned in Col 3:2

Mark 9:35 “If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.”

We don’t have to deny the gifts God has given us, if we use them in humbleness we glorify God and we encourage and build up others.

Child-likeness is similar to like-mindedness. Consider Phil 2:1-5 If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Last Sunday night in our small group meeting, I saw a beautiful example of the innocence of a child. My husband Larry was asked to pray. We were sitting, gathered in a circle. Joe, who is either 5 or 6, is the youngest son of our youth minister. He sat with his little hands tightly clasped, eyes closed and head leaning against the back of his chair. After the ‘Amen’ heads were raised and we looked at Joe. His hands remained clasped in prayer and his eyes remained closed. We all waited for a moment thinking he was still praying. We soon realized he was fast asleep. He must have been in that exact same position close to 15 minutes before his little head started bobbing around as he fell into a deeper sleep. That image has stayed with me all week. It was an extremely precious sight